sorry, in advance

Confession. I am at work. I am writing a blog post while I am at work. I feel sort of guilty. I would never have felt guilty at my old job, because I know no one would have cared. The only reason I feel guilty doing this at the new job is because I don't know whether or not they care. I will figure it out eventually, but for now, I am trying to be stealth.

What I really want to talk to you about is my teeny tiny bladder. I had no idea it was so small! I decided about a month ago I wanted to try to drink more water during the day. Some time last year, someone left a stainless steel water bottle at my house. I couldn't give it back because they didn't live in SC, so I started using it as my water bottle. I love it. A lot. here is a pic:

It's 18oz. Better than a Nalgene, which I think leaves behind a vaguely pizza-esque flavor. So, I have been drinking at least 4 of these during the 8 hours I am at work, usually more like 5 or 6. That is 72oz of water in 8 hours, minimum, and possibly up to 108oz. I also bring a travel mug of coffee with me in the morning. So, needless to say, I spend a lot of time going to the bathroom to pee. All of this is fine and well, except I am very self-conscious about how often I am going to the bathroom. In order to get to the ladies bathroom I have to walk past the office of one of my bosses. I do this a lot. I try not to make eye contact. I wonder if he can hear me peeing. I wonder if he wonders if I have some sort of bladder control issue. I probably think about all of this entirely too much.

Do you want to know why I think about it too much?

Because I have nothing to do. I am going to be working on an awesome project. But it won't really start up until August. My other boss doesn't want me to get wrapped up in anything that will be time consuming. So, I have been reading. Reading about all sorts of really really interesting things. But....I read fast, and I am not used to sitting at a desk. I am not used to silence. I am not used to the lack of stress...I am not sure how to do this....so, I get kinda anxious. I thought this might happen, that I might have a period of adjustment. Well, it's here. I am adjusting.

I am obsessed with drinking water. I think next week I am going to keep a tally of how many times I get up to pee. 

That is my update friends.

nothing

I haven't forgotten about you, blog world. I just don't have a whole lot to say. People have been exhausting me lately. I think I need a vacation. From people. But not you guys. Never you.

love, a/t

ze universe

Topic of discussion today: the universe! What do I mean by that? Well, I don't know! If you are reading this you probably already know how I feel about touchy feely crap like fate and virgin birth and higher powers. I am open to the possibility that things happen for a reason, but more in a chaos theory manner and less in a predestination kind of way. However, I think I've been schooled by ze universe lately. It decided to remind me in a very abrupt and obvious way that people usually try to hide how fucked up they really are until after a gal is already invested and it's harder to walk away. So, I would like to thank the universe for doing me a solid and reminding me that I should be more cautious when allowing new people into my life. I can handle fucked up people, because I am a card-carrying member. I can't handle aggressive, unkind, self-absorbed dick-shits who feel in their heart of hearts that the world really does revolve around them. Crisis averted. Moving on.

Speaking of the cruel and cynical universe, there is an awesome outdoor craft fest going on today, but we have a pretty solid rain coming down. Usually I would be ok with this, use it as an excuse to lay around and watch Netflix in my PJs. But, I can't do that, because the internet keeps coming in and out. I have had to re-write this post three times already. So....if no outdoor fest, no yardwork, no Netflix....that leaves me with....cleaning. :(

I get it. I bitch about cleaning in a previous post and then I am forced to clean. HA! It's how it goes.

these days

So, the last few days have been pretty exhausting. There have been multiple issues coming up with some folks I know, and they have all taken their toll. I don't really want to go into it here, but I do want to make some observations about people in general.

1. Everyone is fucked up in their own special way,
2. At some point you are going to have to parent your own parent, and most likely it will stay that way once it happens,
3. Sometimes when you see red flags, you shouldn't try to talk yourself into it just to prove a point, 
4. There isn't enough kindness in the world.

As to that last one...Why is it so hard for people to just be kind?  I try to be kind. I know I am not always successful, or maybe I think I am more successful than I really am. It's a basic thing, but it's so hard for a lot of people. I guess people are afraid of being taken advantage of, or being misinterpreted. I don't know. Tomorrow, I am going to make an effort to be kind, all day long. I think you should too.

clean house. eat. live. work. repeat every 7 days.

Saturday morning is usually my cleaning day. As the week comes to an end, I unconsciously start to become very messy. Somewhere in there I know Saturday is coming and it will get cleaned up then. I have shoes scattered in the living room, Emma's dog toys all over the place. Kitchen table with the last few days of mail on it. Dirty dishes in the sink, laundry overflowing the basket. Kitty litter box ignored.
I don't know why I do this, because it ends up driving me crazy. I start to get anxious, I avoid looking around. Life would be so much more enjoyable if I just dealt with it as it came up. Ugh. I can't seem to learn this lesson, however. So, here I am, Saturday morning, giant list of to-do in front of me.

But first, a trip to the market with Joe. Then yardwork, laundry, sweeping, dog bathing.

In other, more exciting news: I am going to DC next month for a work training, and I was able to book an earlier flight into BWI. This means I get to see S and M for the weekend before the training. In addition to three windows in my office, this job has some definite perks.

the new job

So, yesterday was my first day at the new job. The day started off with a staff meeting, so I was able to meet everyone all at once. They all seem super nice and easy going. After the staff meeting, I was given a tour and shown to my office. Now, the building we are in is a two story free standing office building that looks just like a house, though I am told it never was a house. It isn't fancy by any means, but it is homey and it does the trick. However, when they showed me my office, I was super excited to see not one, but three windows!!! And they open! At the PD's office, we didn't have a single window. I could go all day without seeing any natural light. It may seem like a small thing, but I am super excited to have windows and light. I don't even have to turn on the overhead light, because there is enough coming in windows! Here is an example:

Three of these!!!

So, today was my second day, and I attempted to field questions that I didn't know the answer to. Luckily, neither did anyone else, so it wasn't my fault. Tomorrow we are having an after work party/fund-raiser for the pro bono department, so that should be fun. So far it has been so different from the PD's office. No constant stream of email or phone calls, people showing up unexpectedly, putting out fires. Oh the joys of not having clients! Basically all I have been doing is reading and trying to get up to speed on the issues. Pretty soon I will get to start a super secret project that sounds pretty amazing which should last 6-9 months. All in all I am very happy.

test of wills

So, you know what tomorrow is don't ya? It's my first day at the new job! (Insert stadium cheering here).
I am pretty darn excited, and super stoked that I don't have to go to that god awful courthouse anymore. I didn't realize what a relief that would be, how I would feel so much weight being lifted off my shoulders when I left that job. Ok, maybe I had some bit of an idea, but the feeling is better than I expected. It's like finally breaking up with a really bad boyfriend, or looking at your car after it's been washed, waxed and vacuumed, or someone else doing to dishes after dinner. That kind of feeling. Like this:

bliss!

I went to Carrboro this past weekend to hang out with some of my favs. Good time was had by all, and I am still so happy that H and B have moved a mere 3.5 hours away. So glad.  We went on a bike ride and walked around downtown, drank plenty of caffeine and swung on swings. I love those people.

I will update soon about the new job. I am still a little unsure of what I will be doing, but honestly, I don't even care at this point. My biggest concern is whether my delicious vegan lunches will repulse everyone like they did at my old job. Haha. I swear, I think brussel sprouts smell, and taste, amazing!

I have never seen her sit like this before